Big failures vs. small victories

Today's conclusion: my body does not like to run in the heat. Period. I don't have any other way of saying it or any other way of making it not true. Jerod and I headed out for our 10 mile run this evening and we got about 1.5 into it and I could tell that I was not going to make it. My head was already throbbing, my throat was extremely dry and I was getting that knot in it that comes right before you vomit. Not good. We had 8.5 left and we had just started. I felt like I could do this because we ran 8 miles last week and I felt good after that run. I remember thinking, "Good! We run 10 miles next week and I feel like I could do it now!" Well, last week wasn't quite so hot. It was 99 degrees when we left the house today. We did have water handy but I think I needed most of it poured on me rather than drinking it. I ended up walking about another 2 miles before I caved in and admitted that I needed to turn around and come home. So that's what we did. Let me tell you something, when you feel like you've failed at something, walking 3 miles back, knowing that every car that passes you knows you're a failure...it's not pleasant! But while I was fighting the urge to say that I wanted to just become lazy and fat and quit, I was trying to find my small victory in this experience. See God has been giving me small victories throughout this entire process and I feel like He will continue to do so if I'm just open to seeing it. As we were about 3 streets away from home, Jerod asked me why I thought I shut down like that. Here's my theories: 1. Even while I don't mind the heat, my body doesn't like to exercise in the heat. Plain and simple. 2. Being out in 100+ degree weather the last 3 days has zapped any extra resources that my body had. 3. The fact that I had briefly had the same symptoms earlier in the day meant my body was NOT ready for this run. 4. Running in any weather hotter than 90 degrees with hurricane force winds blowing against you is never a good idea.

I haven't claimed a theory yet for my reason but I do know now that I need to be better prepared next time because while becoming fat and lazy sounds really appealing right now, I know I would be miserable at it. Oh and my small victory that God gave me? Well it didn't come til I was in a cool shower, but we walked 6 miles in just under 1 hr. That is still within my time limit to finish the marathon and it count. See? He is so good! Quitting is not an option....you just have to look for the small victories to want to keep going.